Not A Love Story
by Dark Sadistic Angel
Summary: 1x2. Reload. Duo struggles to cope with his emotions, and starts drinking. Hirde alerts Heero to his state, and Heero comes to find out what is wrong with Duo. Angst Fluff.


1+2. Duo struggles to cope with his emotions, and starts drinking. Hirde alerts Heero to his state, and Heero comes to find out what is wrong with Duo. Angst Fluff.

Not A Love Story By DSA

It started with one glass. Then two. Before long, he had moved to consuming entire bottles. He found out happily how well drinking could pass the excess of time on his hands. He had no reason to drink. No, he was a content person. He had everything, a nice apartment, a job and money on hand when he need it. Things he had only dreamed of having as a child. He was happy enough with his days.

It was just the nights that were the problem. Without sleep, they were too long. Seven hours, eighteen minutes to go until daybreak and counting... He glanced down from the clock and swirled his drink. Less than half the night remaining. He tapped his fingers, and locked up at the clock again. Damn, only twenty seconds had past since the last check.

'Slow... damn, time is too fucken slow.'

He threw the glass he held at the clock. His arm wobbled, and his aim missed. The glass shattered on the floor. Duo sighed.

'My body is this far gone, and my mind is still working too much. Why can't I stop thinking? Aren't I suppose to be an idiot? I want to be an idiot.' He declared out aloud.

A dry chuckle escaped his throat. He blinked. The sound surprised him.

'What do you know, I still have a sense of humour.'

Duo laughed. It was a harsh sound, echoing in the empty room. He stopped suddenly.

'Guess I am an idiot who thinks too much, huh?'

Awkwardly, Duo stood up. He swayed towards a nearby cabinet and pulled out a clean glass. He dropped it. It broke cleaning into five pieces as it collided with the wooden floor. Duo swore.

'Damn, last glass too.' He shrugged. 'Well, it may be primitive, but the bottle will do me just fine then. Stuff the civilised shit. God didn't invent that, just piece of shit humans who made up shitty stuff like that.'

He grabbed a full whisky bottle from the shelf. He open the bottle and held it up his head in a cheerful toast.

'To those shitty people who invented civilisation, and to those shitty people who keep it that way, such as you Heero. So if you excuse me, I'll stick to my uncivilised ways and drink out of a bottle, in honour of your shit.'

He took a large swig of whisky.

'Excuse me?' a familiar husky voice asked behind him.

Duo choked on the bottle. The liquid seared his nostrils and eyes as it painfully burnt down his throat. He spluttered and whirled around. Stopping, he almost tripped.

'Fuck- Heero!' His mind stopped functioning. 'I... I... Damn, I was thinking of you- just caught me doing a toast there to you. How've you've been?' he babbled. 'Been complete ages since I last saw you.'

He wasn't sure if he was making sense, but it sounded good. Heero swept his eyes over Duo. His mouth tightened visibly.

'Why the hell are you drowning yourself in that?'

'I'm not. I'm not rich enough to afford a pool of Wild Turkey whiskey to drown in. Damn, I wish I were though. Wouldn't that be a way to go?'

Duo laughed, and waved the bottle he held in his hand at his unexpected visitor.

'Want some. Plenty for all. I have a whole stack in the bedroom. Uh, a third of them are empty though-I think, but heck, there's still enough for a party.'

He had no idea how Heero got into his apartment, or why. Strangely enough, he was too lighted headed to care. Perhaps it was some sort of weird dream he slipped into, or something. Anyhow, he didn't give a damn. He had a visitor, so he had to play the host. Gotta keep his guest entertained.

'Your friend Hirde was right to be concerned-', in four quick steps, he was before him. 'Duo, what's wrong with you?'

Heero reached out a hand.

Duo jerked back in a reflexive defense. He stumbled a few paces back and then he went sprawling, his legs awkwardly slamming into the stand of a nearby lounge lamp. The tall lamp tilted and fell. Glass shattered as metal clanged. The room suddenly grew darker as at the extinguishment of light. Duo laughed.

'Damnit, I'm getting clumsier every day. Hey, perhaps I am really the complete fool that you think I am. Do you think I ought to drop by Trowa's and ask him if I can join the circus too as a clown?'

'I don't think you are a complete fool.'

Duo tilted his head.

'Oh?' His gazed suddenly hardened. 'Just a big one then?' Duo chuckled. 'I won't disagree with you there. Go home Heero. You don't have to be here. Actually, I don't want you here. I can take care of myself. Piss off Heero. Get out of my home. Me and my whisky are just fine on our own. You hurt me too much. I can't take the pain no longer, do me a favour pal- disappear.'

There was surprise on Heero's face.

'What did I do? You aren't making any sense.'

'Aha- I knew you thought of me as an idiot. Don't try to lie. I hate lies. Fuck I hate lies, and I live one myself. Since I'm the world's biggest and stupidest idiot to you Heero, why don't you do the world, yourself and me too, a favour, and fucken kill me now!' His voice broke. 'Oh God Heero, I can't take you any more. I can't take myself any more. Kill me, and don't do a Relena job and not kill me. I want to die so badly that it hurts!'

'Duo...'

Heero knelt down before him. To Duo's surprise, he felt Heero's arms go around him tenderly. What the fuck?

'Whatever I did, I'm sorry for hurting you by doing it.'

His chest ached. Damnit, Heero was doing it again. The bastard. He changed his mind. He did not want to die- he wanted to kill. He wanted to kill Heero.

'Really Heero? Really?'

Duo's laughter grew harsher. His shoulders shook with it. His laughter was painful.

'What the hell is with you Heero? You're acting weird. You shouldn't be like this. It's almost as if you're actually soppy. Emotional- you're too emotional- you're not suppose to have emotions you fucken asshole of a cunt. Why are like this? Why?' His laughter choked down in his throat. For some reason, his voice broke on the last word. 'Why Heero?'

Hands stoked his back in large, smoothing circles.

'Don't you know, Duo?'

'So I'm suppose to be psychic now, and guess what you're thinking? I never know what you're thinking. So how the hell am I suppose to know anything? I'm an idiot.' He emphasised the last three syllables. 'Well then Heero, tell me what the fuck I'm suppose to know?'

He had stopped laughing. Duo turned his head, and whispered into Heero's ear.

'Hey Heero, what's up my man?' Duo hissed sarcastically. 'What's on your mind?'

'I want to help you,' Heero replied evenly.

Duo froze. He grew stiff in Heero's arm.

'That doesn't tell me why you're too close to me for comfort.'

Lips touched his neck. Shock mingled with desire ripped through him. Damnit, Heero was... kissing him?

'Duo...'

No.

'I-'

No....

'No! Shut up! I don't want to hear that!' He shuddered and began to struggle against Heero's hold. 'Let me go. Get the hell away from me.'

Heero's embrace held. Instead of loosening, it grew tighter around him.

'Then I ask you the same question then, why? Why Duo?'

Duo stilled for a moment.

'This is not a love story,' Duo answered harshly.

With all his strength, he pushed Heero away from him. Panting, he sat before the brown hair youth. He was exhausted. He didn't know why. Heero remained on his knees before Duo. Duo could feel his eyes on him, watching him, waiting for something. Duo sighed, and bowed his head. He griped his fringe and pulled it down, looking at his feet.

'Love isn't meant to hurt this much... is it?'

Fin. 


End file.
